So Many Syndromes
by Everafterjunkie
Summary: Still sulking about PFS, Chad invents his own syndrome; KCS. However when Chad uses Kissed by Chad Syndrome on Sonny, he inadvertently upsets her. Can he use his creation of syndromes to make things right again? Channy/One-shot. For Nicole.


AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY **BrandNewEyes929**! This is completely random and I apologise profusely for it in advance if you find it terrible :P Hehe! Sorry about the suckish title, I'm in a rush :P Ooh and sorry about mistakes too, blame **Maddy** for leaving me! I'd also like to mention **Dommy** because of a bin situation that I have to apologise for :P

**SO MANY SYNDROMES**

Sonny lay down anxiously in her bed, her legs literally throbbing as if they were bleeding. Stupid Tawni Hart and her stupid skinny jeans!

She'd been lying here for a good half-hour while the Doctor had been freeing others for SPS. And it was certainly _not_ a joke anymore.

"Knock knock." Came an obnoxious voice from behind the curtain.

Oh great, just the person Sonny wanted to see.

"Chad, go away!" Sonny whined, twisting in her in agony.

Chad pouted. "Sonny I'm hurt, I come here to see if you're okay and you tell me to go away?"

Sonny riled around in the bed. "Really?" She asked through clenched teeth.

Chad shrugged. "Nah, my limo isn't here to pick me up yet." He sauntered over to the hospital chair next to Sonny's bed and sat himself down.

"Charming." Sonny bit, twisting around so she was on her back. "SPS sucks!" She blew out her lip and Chad chuckled.

"Tell me about it, I thought I was a goner for sure. But now I'm cured!" Chad grinned, watching Sonny turn back over, holding her legs tightly.

"Well good for you! I want my Mommy Jeans back!" Sonny whined, whimpering.

Chad tilted his head. "Don't be such a baby Monroe."

"Don't be such an idiot Cooper." Sonny replied bitterly.

"At least I'm not a comedian."

"At least I'm not a drama snob."

"At least I don't come from _Wisconsin_! Ugh!"

"At least my last name didn't use to be Goldfarb! Blegh!"

Chad gasped. "Who told you that?"

"Tawni." I smirked.

"She is SO dead! Stupid comedian." He muttered.

"What's so wrong with being funny? It brings happiness." Sonny protested.

"Maybe real comedy, like Laurel and Hardy, not _your_ kind of comedy. Your comedy at it's best is rubber chickens."

"At least we're a family. I don't see any of your cast-mates begging to stay with you now." Sonny crossed her arms over her chest, momentarily forgetting about the pain in her legs.

"Oh really? Then where are _your_ cast now? While you're laying here in pain." He rounded, eyebrow raised.

"Well ... Tawni left, Zora's parents picked her up and Nico and Grady haven't had their pants cut off yet."

"Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't have all-loving cast-mates."

Sonny sat straight up. "Well at least _I'm_ not about to admit my undying love for you, you jerk—" Sonny cut herself off, falling back to bed with a whimper as her SPS got worse.

Chad shook his head. "Sonny, I was saying that I love helping kids not read, _not_ that I love you." Chad assured Sonny, his tone a little cold.

"Whatever!" Sonny grabbed the pants and began trying to wiggle them off.

"Woah, woah, woah! I don't really think it's appropriate for you to strip in front of me Monroe."

Sonny bristled. "Well here's an idea then. GET OUT!"

Chad chuckled. "I love it when you get all feisty." He teased, smirking.

Sonny rolled her eyes into the back of her head. "I just wanna get these pants off Chad! I feel like my legs are on fire." Sonny sulked, half-sobbing into her pillow.

"Oh, Sonny. I know exactly what it's like to go through that kind of pain." Chad stood up taking one of Sonny's hands in his. "We'll get through this."

Sonny chuckled. "Stop quoting your show."

Chad took her other hand in his like she'd done to him. "But it's making you forget about the pain, isn't it Sonny?"

Sonny shrugged. "No ... my legs still feel numb." Sonny said quietly, trying but failing to look away from Chad's eyes.

Chad grinned slightly. "What if you had KCS?"

Sonny's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! _What_ is KCS?"

"Kissed by Chad Syndrome," Chad said smoothly, putting a knee on the bed so he could get closer. "Would that make it better Sonny?"

Sonny gulped. "Uh ... m-maybe... I guess?" Sonny stuttered, her mouth dry.

Chad smirked, leaning in closer to Sonny.

Sonny closed her eyes, her lips puckered in anticipation only for something to hit her in the face, hard.

"OW!" Sonny yelped, her eyes blinking open.

Chad was standing there, a grin plastered on his face and a big pillow in his hand. "I think you just caught PFS Monroe."

Sonny frowned, her arms going to her legs to rub them. "Why would you do that?" Sonny asked, her voice heartbreakingly quiet.

Chad didn't look so cocky anymore. "W-Well you did it to me." He retorted, his arms folded.

"Yeah, because I thought you were gonna say you love_ me_, but _no_ what you would really say if you were dying is that you love more kids reading less books because of you. What did I do to _you_?" Sonny asked quietly, pouting. She quickly spun herself over in bed and pressed the help button, despite wincing.

"You thought I was gonna say _you_?" Chad asked carefully, tilting his head.

Sonny ignored him, squeezing her eyes shut closed to stop the pain.

"Sonny, did you think I was gonna say you?" He repeated, taking Sonny's hand from her side, unclenching it and holding it in his.

Sonny tried to snatch her hand back but she had another stroke of pain that had her wriggling in the bed and rendering her unable to take back her hand. "Nurse!" she tried to shout. "Nurse!"

"Yes Miss?" Asked a nurse from the curtain.

"Is the Doctor nearly finished with Chastity? I'm really _really _sore." Sonny asked hoarsely.

The nurse raised an eyebrow. "Well I could do the procedure if you'd like."

Chad held Sonny's hand tighter and looked at the nurse with raised eyebrows. "Are you sure that's safe?" he asked, looking the concerned boyfriend.

Sonny pulled back her hand and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Chad, it's cutting off my pants! Not _everything_ has to be a drama! Now go away."

"Sonny—"

The nurse glared. "This is a private procedure sir."

If Sonny hadn't have been in so much agony, she might have laughed.

Chad sheepishly left the room to Sonny's screams.

Sonny was relieved to say the least when the Doctor had finally let her go, even if she was forced to wear horrible already-used tracksuit pants all the way home. With a sigh of relief, she opened the door to her dressing room and quickly found her Mommy jeans.

She put the hospital pants in a nearby bag and pulled on her Mommy jeans with a grin. Who needed fashion over comfort anyway?

"Not looking so hot anymore." A voice interrupted her thoughts.

Sonny looked up from fastening her belt and scowled. "Gee, thanks."

Chad shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm just saying, when I saw you walk in the cafeteria in those skinny jeans ... _Wow._"

Sonny gave a small smile. "I suppose that's a compliment ... thanks."

Chad returned the smile. "You're welcome."

Sonny tucked a loose stand of hair behind her ear and tightened her hair band. "So ... did you want something?"

"I was just checking you'd made it." He smirked, arms folded.

"Well I'm alive, as you can see. That it?"

Chad swallowed. "And uh ... I came to say sorry about the whole KCS thing."

Sonny flushed, pulling down her yellow SPS t-shirt over her jeans a little more. "It's ... _fine_."

Chad shook his head, taking a step towards her. "It's not, I—I didn't think that I'd ... _upset_ you before ... with the whole ... more kids are reading less books because of Chad Dylan Cooper... thing."

"I wasn't _upset_." Sonny insisted, arms folded.

Chad chuckled. "You were. And I mean, who wouldn't be upset really? I mean ... look at me." He motioned to himself.

Sonny scowled. "Unfortunately I have to ... _every_ darn freaking day."

"Well ... your life would suck without me." Chad grinned.

"Quoting Kelly Clarkson? Really Chad? Really?"

Chad swallowed. "W-Well ... I _may_ have read an article that said she was your favourite singer..."

Sonny tried to feign a smile. "That's very resourceful of you. Was there an article of you next to it or something?"

Chad shook his head. "Nope. I saw a picture of you in the article and that's why I read it."

"_You_ read something ... that wasn't about you?" Sonny asked incredulously.

Chad nodded solemnly.

"Well, that's very sweet of you Chad." Sonny smiled.

"Thanks Monroe. How about you get a little HCS _instead_ of KCS?" Chad offered, half-smiling.

"Depends, what would this entail?" Sonny asked suspiciously.

Chad drew Sonny into a hug and put two strong arms around her. "This." He smiled into her hair.

Sonny giggled into his chest. "I think I like HCS. It's a lot better than SPS, I'll tell you _that_ for nothing."

Chad carefully kept his arm low around her waist and smiled as Sonny fitted his arms perfectly around his neck. "I should hope so." He murmured. "I almost forgot! You got any money?"

"Why?" Sonny asked, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

Chad smirked. "Because you gotta buy a box of cookies now."

Sonny pulled away from the hug and scowled. "You just can't _not_ say anything obnoxious, can you? We were having a moment there!"

Chad rolled his eyes and tried to pull her back into the hug, but Sonny was having none of it. "No! You can't just try and pull me back into a hug and think I'll just forget everything. Why don't you go try to woo Chastity or someone instead? Stop wasting my time."

"Are you finished?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sonny looked down. "And you're a player too." She added quietly.

"Done now?"

"_We're_ done." Sonny answered him, turning on her heel and storming out of the dressing room.

Chad watched her leave, open-mouthed and unsure of what had just happened.

...

"I'm thinking bigger ... much bigger!" Tawni told Sonny, suddenly going into a big trance.

"Tawni?" Sonny asked, clicking her fingers. "Tawni?"

"Hey Sonny." Chad whispered from the side of the stage.

Sonny rolled her eyes. "Chad, what are you doing on the So Random stage? You don't even watch the show."

"I came here to see if you were still mad at me." He answered.

"Since when do you care when I'm mad at you?" Sonny asked curiously.

Chad didn't answer, he raised an eyebrow at Tawni. "What's up with her?"

"She's on a mission to stop SPS, I _think_ she's thinking about a way to stop it." Sonny explained.

Chad chortled. "And she does that by going in a trance?"

"Pretty much." Sonny replied.

Tawni suddenly snapped out of her trance and gave Sonny a wide grin. "I have the _best_ idea! We're gonna stop SPS once and for all!"

"How?" Chad and Sonny asked in unison.

"A song called ... the Stop SPS song!" she said with wonderment. "What are you doing here Chad?" she asked when she realised he was there.

"I'm here to see Sonny because—"

Tawni rolled her eyes. "Don't care. But that must be why I envisioned you in my SPS music video. You're gonna need to get you and your cast over at our studios in one hour."

Chad chuckled. "Are you serious?"

Tawni nodded. "Yes."

Chad gave an ever louder laugh. "You seriously think that _I_ would be in your stupid music video? Not in this lifetime."

Tawni pouted. "But Chad—"

Chad laughed a little more and winked at Sonny. "I'll see you later Sonny."

And with that, he left, still laughing all the way down the corridor.

Tawni turned to Sonny. "Sonny, I need you to do something for me."

Sonny grinned, excited. "Of course I'll be in your music video!"

Tawn didn't seem shocked. "Duh, of course _you'd_ wanna be in it. I need you to get Chad to agree to be in it too."

"Why me?" Sonny whined.

"Because he _obviously_ has a huge crush on you." Tawni said knowingly.

"He does?" Sonny asked, unconvinced.

"Totally. He's _completely_ into you." Tawni informed her.

Sonny bit her lip. "Sorry Tawni, but I just don't think he is, maybe you should get Nico or Grady to ask him." She suggested, putting a lock of hair back behind her ear and walking off the stage.

Tawni folded her arms against her chest and raised her eyebrows. "So I see how it is, you just don't want me to help save the world."

Sonny gasped. "No! I do want you to save the world Tawni!"

Tawni smirked. "Well get Chad and his cast to be here in an hour, I don't care if you have to give him money, a contract, a new smoothie machine or whatever else. Just get him over here pronto! I need my vision to be perfect."

"Fine." Sonny mumbled, folding her arms over her chest and making her way over to the Falls with great reluctance.

...

Sonny held in a sigh as she reached Chad's dressing room door, she'd never been inside before, and she didn't intend to go inside now.

She knocked tentatively and waited impatiently for an answer.

When no such answer came, she wondered aimlessly around corridors, looking for him.

She almost gave up and started to head back when she heard raised voices coming from Penelope's room.

"_You're DUMPING me?" _

"_I told you Penelope, it's not working out."_ Chad mumbled back.

"_It's because of __**her**__, isn't it?"_ Penelope guffawed.

"_Because of who?"_ He asked, confused.

"_SONNY! It's always about her! All you ever do at lunch is just ... STARE at her! You're supposed to be my boyfriend Chad! __**My **__boyfriend! Not some funny imbecile's!" _

"_Don't call her that!"_ Chad seethed.

Penelope growled. "_Oh, so now you're defending her! You're forgetting the bigger picture Chad!" _

"_What picture?"_

"_The picture where we're the only show __**in **__the picture!"_ Penelope explained, half-shouting.

"_**I'll**__ decide who's in the picture, not you!" _

"_What a way to treat your girlfriend!"_ Penelope guffawed.

Chad growled. _"For the last time! I'm NOT your—"_

Sonny took a step back from the door, shocked and horrified. He had a girlfriend this whole time.

Remembering the mission, she regained her composure and knocked lightly on Penelope's door.

"_WHAT?_" Came a bitter voice through the door.

"Hi ... it's Sonny. I'm ... looking for Chad..." Sonny greeted weakly.

The two started arguing again and Sonny rolled her eyes in annoyance.

She opened the door herself and charged through.

Penelope and Chad looked flabbergasted by her entrance.

"I need you to be in the SPS song." She informed Chad, not even acknowledging a fuming Penelope.

Chad raised an eyebrow. "And why would I do that?"

Penelope stood next to him. "Yeah, why _would_ we do that?"

Sonny gulped, remembering what Tawni had said to her. "B-Because ... if y-you don't... then I'm telling everyone you two are secretly dating."

Chad's eyes widened. "What?" he asked quickly.

"I'm telling everyone the truth about you two!" She said a little more confidently. "Understand?"

Chad pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sonny, we're _not_ dating, you understand that right?"

"Do I?" Sonny challenged.

"You should." Chad answered softly.

Sonny shrugged her shoulders and headed for the door. "Be at our studio in an hour."

"She's bluffing." Penelope told him decisively.

"Try me." Sonny challenged.

And with that, she stormed all the way back to the So Random set, plastering on a fake smile and never looked back.

...

Sonny had to admit, she _was_ incredibly surprised when Chad and his cast actually showed up. She made sure that she was a firm distance away from him all through rehearsals, even though she knew she'd have to stand next to him when the real thing started.

"Right, so we're ready?" Tawni asked, standing in front of the group of teens.

"Yes." Everyone groaned.

"Happy faces!" Tawni reminded them. "Right, now Chad and your gang, go backstage and wait for your queue!" Tawni instructed.

With groans of annoyance they complied.

_One day we will walk hand-and-hand  
Every boy and girl from every land  
From the mountains ... to the beach  
And that day, that day, is almost in our reach._

The song was going fine for Sonny, that was until Chad came out with his minions.

_Don't wear the pants  
If they are skinny  
Stop SPS  
Change the way you dress  
Cause tight is no longer in this  
When you hear fashion calling  
Think about what you fall in  
And join our Big pants family_

She tried to avoid eye contact with him throughout the song but when Tawni started singing her solo bit she had no other choice but to hold one of his hands and one of Grady's.

_SPS, "Skinny Pants Syndrome," has given me a chance to make a difference in this world._

"I'm not dating Penelope if that's what you think." Chad whispered to me as Tawni started her solo.

_Join our fight, and together, we can conquer Skinny Pants Syndrome._

"It's not any of my business." Sonny whispered back. It would be so much easier if they weren't holding hands.

_And that day, that day, is almost in our reach._

Tawni finished her solo and Sonny happily let go of Chad's and Grady's hands.

Tawni quickly filmed the ending chorus so that she could put it at the end of the song later and dismissed most of the annoying Falls gang straight away.

"Okay cut!" Tawni instructed, when they'd finished the chorus.

"I want Nico, Grady, Chad and Sonny outside for the last scene. Everyone else is dismissed."

Sonny groaned, avoiding Chad was a lot harder than she thought.

Tawni led the gang outside and showed them the routine, luckily for Sonny, most of it wasn't anywhere near Chad.

_Don't wear the pants  
Don't wear the pants  
If they are skinny  
Oh, so skinny!  
Stop SPS  
Change the way you dress  
Owww!  
Cause tight is no longer in this  
You know they not in there!  
It's time to stop the pain  
Let your blood circulate  
Ooooh  
The pants slide on so  
Slide on so  
Easily..._

"And that's a wrap!" Tawni grinned, clapping her hands together.

Sonny grinned. "I'm so happy for you Tawni! You did something nice!" The two girls hugged and Tawni didn't even try to pull away.

Tawni whooped and gave a proud grin. "I can't _wait_ to tell my Mom about me doing some good! I'm sending this into Santiago pronto!" Tawni happily flounced away.

"That was actually pretty fun." Nico commented.

"These pants have never made me feel so free." Grady said happily.

Sonny laughed and shook her baggy pants.

"You did good too Chip." Nico tried to compliment quietly.

Chad chuckled. "Don't think that we can be friends just cuz I'm in this dumb video, I only did it for S—" He seemingly caught himself. "I only did it so no one would have to go through SPS like I did."

"Come on G, let's leave Chip alone." Grady followed Nico away from the lot.

Sonny was about to follow the two when Chad grabbed onto her arm. "Sonny, can we talk?"

"About what?" Sonny asked softly, releasing her arms from Chad's grip.

"Penelope. Us. Before. Lots of things."

Sonny shrugged. "You don't owe me an explanation."

"I _want_ to give you an explanation." Chad insisted, taking her by the hand like he did when he had tried to stop her talking about the egg salad video on the internet.

"Go on then." Sonny encouraged.

"Penelope is ... _was_ a distraction. You see, there's this girl I _really _like and ... I thought ... if I started ... _dating_ girls again, like I _used_ to, then I'd forget about her."

Sonny gave a small smile. "You really like a girl? Aww Chad! That's so sweet of you!"

Chad flushed slightly. "Yeah well it's—"

"Who is it?" Sonny asked excitedly. "Oh my gosh, it's Tawni isn't it?"

Chad let go of her hand. "Tawni? Why on earth would you think that?" he asked, disgusted.

Sonny giggled. "Well, haven't you ever heard of those love-hate relationships? Well you and Tawni have one, right?"

Chad's jaw dropped open. "W-WHAT?"

Sonny burst out laughing. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! But seriously, who is she?"

Chad seemed a little more relieved and smirked. "Well ... she has the most big brown eyes, the greatest smile, she's really beautiful, she's stupidly cute and I think about her _all_ the time."

Sonny's smile fell. "Oh ... well maybe you should ask her out then." Sonny suggested quietly.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" Chad asked anxiously.

"If you tell her what you just told me, there's no chance she'll say no." Sonny gave a weak smile and turned to go.

Chad chuckled. "Sonny, it's _you_."

Sonny turned back around slowly. "Uh ... it's me what?"

"It's you. It's you that I _really _like." Chad told her softly, going shy and looking away.

"M-Me?" Sonny asked, shocked.

"Yes you." Chad grinned.

"Is this a joke?"

"No."

Sonny looked at him suspiciously. "Are we on TV?"

Chad laughed loudly. "Of course not. No way would I be admitting this on TV." Chad teased.

Sonny bobbed out her tongue. "Well, that I can believe."

"Can you believe that I think about you all the time? That I can't get you out of my head? That I just want to make you smile? That you give me butterflies whenever you look at me?"

Sonny blushed. "I-If that's true, then why did ... why did you do that KCS thing to me then?" Sonny asked curiously.

"Because you hit my beautiful face with a pillow! PFS! Pfft!"

Sonny rolled her eyes. "Same old Chad."

Chad shook his head. "No, new Chad. A Chad that's willing to give you SCS." Chad smiled slightly.

Sonny's frowned. "We're building sandcastles?" She asked hopefully.

"Uh ... no. But I was gonna take you out for Sushi... if you want." He added quietly, arms behind his back and looking hopeful. "Sushi with Chad syndrome ... you know." He added when Sonny didn't say anything.

"And you're not gonna show up with your Mackenzie Falls friends to throw Sushi at me right?"

Chad snickered. "No I'm not." He rolled his eyes. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm in to you?" He asked softly.

Sonny looked down. "Well ... I'm _funny_ and ... I'm ... I have nothing compared to those girls you _could_ be dating."

Chad rolled his eyes and took both her hands in his. "You're the only girl I want. They have nothing on you. And when I _really_ like a girl, I don't _just_ go for looks—"

"Thanks a lot." Sonny huffed sarcastically.

"I go for a girl with an awesome personality _too_." Chad grinned.

"But what about Portlyn, you liked her! Does she have an awesome personality?" Sonny asked.

"I dated her for publicity, I want to date you because I like you." Chad said with a reassuring smile.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

Sonny grinned and put both her hands on Chad's shoulders and leaned into his mouth. "You're looking a little peaky."

"Oh yeah?" Chad asked huskily.

"I think you're coming down with KSS." Sonny whispered against his face. "Kissed by Sonny Syndrome."

As Sonny kissed him he knew that he had most definitely caught LSS as well as KSS.

In **L**ove with **S**onny **S**yndrome.

There was no cure to this syndrome, and for that Chad was glad.

He wouldn't mind being sick for the rest of his life...

As long as he was lovesick with Sonny.

AN: Haha terrible ending :P But oh well. BIG BIRTHDAY WISHES to the lovely **Nicole**, she really is lovely! Please PM her Happy Birthday (**BrandNewEyes929**) and please take the time to tell me what you all think! :)

**-Everafterjunkie **


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